


Ghosts

by Controversial_Ereri



Series: 109.5 Controversial Ereri Radio [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 18+, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brief mention of a true story involving torture and no consent (however no details), Controversial, Dark Comedy, Dark Humor, Degrading to some of you, Easily offended DO NOT READ, Excessive use of the word 'retard', Explicit Language, Extremely offensive, Ghost bashing, Ghosts, I Cannot Stress that Enough, If you believe in ghosts do not read this, M/M, NOT A SAFE PLACE, NSFW, Not for children, Offensive, Other, R Rated language, ghosts aren't real, radio show, sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:27:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Controversial_Ereri/pseuds/Controversial_Ereri
Summary: On this episode of Controversial Ereri, the boys discuss ghosts and the people that believe in them.Please read the notes & tags before continuing with this reading.





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> First: I need you to go ahead and read my username. Controversial Ereri.  
> If you are easily offended do not read this shit.  
> Seriously, I'm not kidding.  
> If you're one of those people that go on Tumblr and post all your lovely opinions and are very pro this and pro that… yeah you should really leave right now.  
> This is NOT a safe space.  
> You've been warned.

“So, get this,” Eren chuckled into his microphone, his co-host Levi was ready for the subject change. He always knew when Eren was about to be a complete ass, usually they agreed on whatever topic it was and it made for good fun on their simple radio show. But he could tell from the glimmer in Eren's eye that this was going to be a touchy subject. 

“My brother believes in ghosts,” Eren kept his voice flat, almost seeming to be uninterested in the topic.

“You're fucking with me,” Levi deadpanned, his brows pointing down as he made eye contact across the table with Eren. “Isn't he, what? Thirty eight?”

“You'd think he was seven with the fucking shit he was texting me last night.”

Levi leaned forward, a small smile forming over his lips. “Oh this will be good,” he said and waved for his co-host to get started.

With a grin, Eren continued, “Apparently, him and his wife thought it would be a great idea to buy a fucking Ouija board-”

“-That's a big fucking waste of money.”

“I know!” Eren groaned and shook his head. “Especially when he was bitching the other day about not being able to buy Gabi new shoes.”

“Wait,” Levi sighed. “Who's Gabi?” Eren was always good at going off subject.

“His oldest daughter.”

“Ouija board over kids shoes, that's some excellent parenting right there,” Levi rolled his eyes. “We'll save that subject for another day.”

“I could go on for fucking hours about people who shouldn't have kids.”

Levi snorted into his mic, “I know you can but let's get back to this idiot’s ghost board.”

“He puts the kids to bed and they break out this stupid board in their living room. They even lit candles and shit, like that's going to help summon the undead.”

“If I was a ghost you'd need a bottle of bleach to bring me back,” Levi hummed. “..Some cleaning rags.. and condoms.”

Eren laughed, his hands coming up to cover the mic before he blew their listeners ears out. “I'll make sure to bring you back with my dick hard and waiting. If you summon me I'll need a gag and a whip.”

“Well damn, maybe I should start believing in ghosts.”

Eren covered his mic again, hiding his laugh. “Fuck don't even start, you're not a fucking retard like my brother.”

“Eren,” Armin, their producer scolded into their headsets. “Don't use that word.”

“And the Debbie Downer award of the day goes to Armin, for breaking our fun and reminding us that  _ retard _ is  _ not a nice word _ ,” Levi leaned into his mic, saying his words loudly and clearly with only a touch of extreme annoyance.

“Just go back to the story,” Armin laughed over the mic, the producer painfully aware that he was about to send the boys into a rant about swear words.

Eren sighed before getting back into it, “Anyway, my brother, this.... person of..  _ questionable _ mental capability-”

“You know,” Levi cut in - not letting the subject drop. “I honestly believe that if you believe in ghosts you're at least a  _ little _ fucking retarded.”

“ _ Levi _ ,” Armin scolded again.

“No really,” Levi threw his hands up. “Hear me out. If you honestly believe that there are ghosts then you're a fucking retard. Through and through. Simple as that.”

Eren nodded, “You're not wrong, there is so much evidence against it but these idiots still believe it. My brother used the stupid board, thought they were summoning our father.” Eren looked close to banging his head against the desk. “'Don't worry about the money’ it said.”

“That's utter bullshit,” Levi groaned out. “This is such a fucking play against innocent, naive,  _ borderline _ retarded people that don't fucking know any better. 'Don't worry about the money’? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“At least there aren't the stupid TV shows anymore,” Eren said with a laugh. “That shit was scary when I was a kid but now when I look back on it, it was just terrible acting from some money hungry jackasses.”

“Those shows were fucking terrible!” Levi shouted, almost close to slamming his hands down on the table. “There was a ‘psychic’ ghost talking bitch who told this girl's parents that she was dead and they didn't need to search for her anymore-”

“Was that the one where she was still fucking alive!?” 

“That's the one!” Levi threw himself back in his seat, his hands going to his hair but stopping at his headset instead. “That bitch told those parents to stop searching, meanwhile that girl was fucking locked up in a basement being abused  _ daily _ and didn't get saved for  _ years _ .. They could have found her sooner, Eren. They could have fucking found her sooner.”

“It's disgusting,” Armin jumped into the conversation, how voice quite and filled with sadness.

“It is!” Levi said quickly. “It is disgusting, but you still have these people that hire professional ghost hunters, and call psychics, people like Eren's brother who buys fucking Ouija boards and think they're talking to the dead. They're just being fucking taken advantage of.”

“How did this even become a thing?” Eren chimed in. “It's all such a joke. What can you even tell a person who believes in ghosts? How can you convince them that it's all fake?”

“I like telling people that Ghost hunting isn't a major in college for a reason,” Armin whispered over the mic, making the other two freeze.

“Oh, shit,” Levi looked over to Eren who had his hands now over his mouth holding in his muffled laughter. “Armin coming in with the hard truth.”

“I can't believe he just said that,” Eren wheezed out.

“It makes sense it's not in college,” Levi winked to Eren. “They wouldn't let someone that retarded enter any good school. Maybe DeVery will open some courses for it.”

“ _ Levi _ ,”Armin sighed as the boys laughed together. “Let's take a break, that's enough of that word for today.”

“Alright, yeah,” Eren stood up, his headset still hanging over his ears. “Today's episode is brought to you by ghost hunting tards, if you believe in ghosts please stop listening to our radio show.”

“God damn it, Eren,” was the last thing heard through the broadcast as Armin turned them off the air for a break.

 


End file.
